A Banshee’s Cry

Ever have a reaction straight out of a movie?  Mine occurred when hearing, “Retire now because…..”.  Suddenly I was doing a Bella in the moments following her death…..internally screaming and clawing at my face, but externally appearing so quiet and still in the presence of the man with me.

The Scream, 1893 by Edvard Munch

Something else happened.  There was this burst, followed by a ripple…which sped away from me with supersonic speed and force.  Didn’t know what it was.  Didn’t know what it meant.  Wouldn’t know for many months.       

Essentially, I was instructed to make a wish list and begin checking everything I’d ever wanted for my life.  All I’d wanted these last twenty years was an incredible love who’d come home to me……and a child.  I wanted to be a mother, but these dreams weren’t possible anymore.  And I couldn’t remember older ones because an accident a dozen years earlier robbed me of all my long-term memories. 

In recent years, I visited Vegas and recall feeling this surge of life and vibrancy I hadn’t felt since my theatre days.  I thought I was simply stimulated by the nightlife, but it was during my morning strolls looking for coffee, when everything was quiet, I caught myself thinking, “This is my home.” like I lived here for twenty plus years.  Had Mom not died when she did, I may have visited sooner….maybe even settled there.       

Speaking of my mother, I heard her say “I’m so glad.  It always seemed to bring you much joy and peace.” while driving home.  A long forgotten memory began filling my head….of the day I dreaded telling her I’d begun writing again…..anticipating hearing it was a waste; I’d never be a literary success.  Instead, she said this.  Hearing it was incredibly cathartic for me.         

She was a medium.  She came from a long line of people with mediumistic abilities.  We’re not witches or “new age”.  We see and perceive energy.  We likely have a gene still active from a time in which man was nomadic and heightened senses was necessary to survive.  Life and death is different for us.  We’re able to communicate medium to medium, though I can no longer visit my grandfather at our tree between life and death as I am without an anchor in this world.

I mention all this because that supersonic burst was apparently a cry in which my mother heard.  She set to work that night, ever so slowly nudging me towards a path which would lead to a house.  In this house I would have an epiphany…..and it’s here, my new journey would begin.          

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